I should have failed kindergarten

Apparently, I never learned how to tie my shoes. I've always used the 'bunny ears' method, and for the most part it's served me well. Sometimes, however, I end up with both loose ends on the _same_ side of the knot. These knots, although deformed, seem to hold just fine (no controlled, scientific study has been undertaken to verify knot quality - you'll just have to take my word for it). Still, I think you can imagine how frustrating it is to be so grossly incompetent...

Making it even worse, I have no idea how this happens. No matter how hard I look at my red-headed, bastard stepchildren of knots, I can't understand how the heck I managed to tie them that way. It's too bad scientists are wasting their time on string theory instead of fixing my shoestrings. Those insensitive clods.