Cruel and Unusual Punishment (Hollywood style)

I was perusing Rotten Tomatoes recently in order to read reviews of the new TMNT movie. While I was there, I happened to notice that they are maintaining a list of the 100 worst-reviewed movies in their database. Being kinda bored on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I decided to have a look. I won't admit to how many of those movies I have seen (and even enjoyed!), but one stood out above the rest.

...
It was my senior year of high school. I was on a double-date of sorts, and we were headed to the theater. As you might expect, the males and females had widely differing preferences for which movie we'd be seeing. Often, guys will capitulate in these sort of situations to increase the [optimistically perceived] odds of future 'reimbursement'. The girls' suggestion in this case was so heinous, however, that my buddy and I tried everything we could think of to change their minds. There was no repayment that could justify the pain that we believed we were about to suffer through.

My friend was the lucky one; he lapsed in and out of consciousness for the duration of the film, battered senseless by the relentless barrage of suck. I, on the other hand, was transfixed by the nightmare unfolding in front of me; I was unable to look away for 92 minutes when I wanted nothing more than to spoon out my own eyeballs and pierce my eardrums with rusty barbed-wire.
...

The movie, dear readers, was Down to You, Rotten Tomatoes' 25th worst-reviewed movie. It is rated worse than all but one of Uwe Boll's movies, for Christ's sake, worse than Glitter, worse than fscking Gigli!

There are two takeaways from this post.
1. Do not ever [EVER] see Down to You.
2. Liah still owes me. Big.

Mac vs PC? Who cares?!

I'll admit that I have enjoyed Apple's recent Get a Mac ad campaign. A lot of it is half-truths and innuendo, but many of the spots do make excellent points.

As a user of Linux- and BSD-based operating systems, however, I couldn't care less about whether Windows Vista or Mac OS X provides a better experience. Both are closed software products that willfully ignore reality; the cost of distribution is as close to zero as is reasonably possible, and it's only going to get cheaper. Free Software is only going to get stronger, and it's going to be a brighter future for everyone*.

Anywho... This morning I happened across some 'Get a Mac' spoofs created by Novell. They're certainly not as professionally-made as those in the Apple campaign, but in terms of content I'd say they're about on-par with The Real McCoy: vague and condescending, but true nonetheless.

The first ad simply points out that there is actually an [attractive!] alternative to Mac or PC. The second ad is less straightforward, but it hints at key strengths of Linux: rapid-as-you-want-them updates and a community built on sharing, openness, and continuous improvement. The third ad, my least favorite, hits on a couple more points; one, that you can run Linux on computers originally sold with either Windows or Mac OS and two, that all those features the Mac and PC are discussing are things that Linux can do.

Ad #1 (Linux is real, and it's spectacular): YouTube, MPG download, or OGG download
Ad #2 (Linux does what /you/ want it to): YouTube, MPG download, or OGG download
Ad #3 (Linux see, Linux do [better]): YouTube, MPG download, or OGG download

_________________________
* With the exception of the stockholders of those software corporations which have made their billions by disrespecting their customers and squeezing them for every penny they have. For a handy list of these wonderful companies, just check out the Business Software Alliance's member list.

Hippies [don't?] suck.

For most of my life, I've agreed with Eric Cartman on the subject of tree-huggers. In many situations, I think their stereotypical portrayal is accurate enough. Occasionally, though, they're really on to something. To save myself any more typing, I'll just quote the email I sent to my employer today. [snip]

I have recently begun learning about the process known as mountaintop removal mining (aka MTM or MTR). As a $COMPANY_NAME employee, it disturbs me to know that our machinery is being used in such a destructive manner. While our primary responsibility is to run our own business in a manner reflecting external costs to our communities and shared environment, our Sustainability Report (specifically the first section, Making Progess Possible) correctly acknowledges that it is also our duty to push for responsible use of the tools we create.

Is the Sustainable Development group aware of this issue? Is it involved in any lobbying at the state or federal level related to surface mining in general? In the event that MTR has not received much/any visibility, I have provided links to some resources that may be helpful.

Wikipedia
Union of Concerned Scientists
Mountain Justice Summer
Washington Post
US Environmental Protection Agency
West Virginia Gazette
iLoveMountains.org

robots > people

I can't wait until people aren't allowed anywhere near our products during manufacturing and assembly. Everybody will be better off.

Exhibit 1) People are lazy. This is an undeniable truth. We take shortcuts, we loaf, we do the bare minimum. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Laziness can be managed. The problem is that we rarely educate people enough that they know where the 'bare minimum' bar is really set. Aim low, miss low.

Exhibit 2) People are independent. Nobody likes to be told what to do. Everybody who's ever been a kid should know this...

You think to yourself: Wow, my room is filthy.
Your mom walks in and says: Your room is filthy! Clean it, or no dessert.
You respond: You're not the boss of me! My room is just fine!!!1one

A similar problem exists in many manufacturing environments...

Office ppl: Please do such-and-such.
Shop ppl: Why?
Office ppl: We don't have time to explain, just do it. We know best.

Most times, the 'office ppl' really do know best. By refusing to acknowledge and consider the opinions and knowledge of 'shop ppl', however, they lose a tremendous amount of buy-in. Some companies, like Toyota, are legendary for breaking down these barriers. If only such a culture was more common...

Exhibit 3) People just. don't. care. If you finish building your Lego castle and you have 3 pieces left over, you throw them back in the box and pretend they are 'extras'. Riiight. Twenty minutes later, the main castle wall comes crashing down and buries your valiant defenders. Invaders 1, product quality 0.

Robots do not have any of these complications. Given a sufficiently clever software engineer and programmer, the robot will do exactly what you want. Which gets us to the crux of the matter... We go on and on about quality and customer satisfaction and market share and prestige and blah-de-blah-blah-blah, but all engineers really want is control. Trying to control people is nothing more than a sophisticated game of whack-a-mole. Those f$@king moles.

Wedding Banned

If Wedding Banned comes to your town, see them. Don't make excuses, don't forget, just go. They're a mock wedding band , but that's just a gimmick.

They mostly cover superhits, so you know all the words (or at least enough to pretend you do), and they add attitude to every one of them. They remind of Tenacious D in that way; they can sing about ridiculous things but make it rock harder than any 'normal' band could while singing about a lost girlfriend or drugs or whatever.

Unfortunately, they don't travel too far, so you all have to come to IL to see them. Trust me, it's worth the trip. See you soon! :)

traitor!

As you may or may not know, I'm quite susceptible to road rage. Like most people, I think that I have the perfect 'rules of the road' and that people should have their licenses revoked for not following them. One of the basic rules is Ye Shalt Waiteth In Line With The Rest Of Us. A common situation is when Car 2 (left lane) decides to pass Car 1 (right lane) at a relative speed of 0.1337 mph. Of course, this causes a huge line to form behind Car 2, since there are many cars that would like to travel faster than 65.1337 mph.

Inevitably, some jackass will ignore[1] that line of cars and zoom up behind Car 1 in the right lane. He'll then wait there, eyes to the left, waiting for a gap big enough to let him in[2]. I don't have a description to equal that of dircha's, so I'll simply repeat his words on the subject.

In traffic, leaving more than a single car length between you and the guy in front of you gets you cut off. It's an invitation for some asshat in the next lane over to cut in. You know the type.

I tell ya... roof-mounted laser gun turrets. "We've got a Jetta at 3 o'clock! Get in there and keep him occupied until I can engage the damned lightdrive!"

That and enemy sympathizers - traitors. You rode that bumper like an animal in heat and kept the Jetta out of your lane. But what's this? The Jetta pulls ahead and that weak-willed pansy Corolla two cars ahead lets him in, after all your work! "Dammit man, we're trying to hold a line here. Get on that fucking bumper and ride it for all you're worth you fucking pussy!"

Where did these people learn to drive? Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood?

_________________________
[1] Or fail to notice... But you know what they say about malice and ignorance.
[2] If he has a 15 foot long car, that means the gap must be at least 15.5 feet. Not only do these pricks cut in line, they completely ignore the concept of 'safe following distance' and thereby increase the risk of a nasty pileup if anything goes wrong.

no hat, no coat, no problem

Winter has finally arrived. There is snow on the ground, the wind chill is hovering around zero degrees Fahrenheit, and I have the pleasure of doing both my morning and afternoon commutes with my headlights on. Those joys, I get to share with everybody around me.

Nobody else, though, spends the first part of every winter enduring daily questions about where the hell his coat is. As soon as the mercury drops below freezing, everybody on earth becomes my mom.

Q: "Where is your coat?" (This is the simplest and most common.)
A: "In my car."

Q: "You're gonna get sick!" (This is often phrased in a manner eerily similar to the BB gun admonition in A Christmas Story.)
A: "Maybe."

Q: "Aren't you freezing?"
A: Varies, depending how cold it really is. Sometimes, it's perfectly nice outside (e.g. 40 degF and sunny) and I respond as such. Sometimes, though, I'm chilled to the bone and I admit it.

Occasionally, somebody wants more than a one-line response. I'll tell you what I tell them: It's just not worth the trouble of bundling up to walk 100 feet from a parking lot to the warmth of my destination! Plus, once you get to the warm place, you're then /too/ warm because you're dressed for something 50 degrees cooler. I think it makes a lot of sense. Don't you? :plugs ears: ;)

In other news... The song of the day is "The House Jack Built" by Metallica. Yes, it's from before they sucked. Download it!

pure snowage

1) Blizzard in IL
It started coming down as sleet/ice/nasty on Thursday evening. It was so loud (think of God throwing giant slushballs at the side of your house) that it kept waking me up until about 03:00, at which point it finally turned to snow and stayed that way.

When I woke up Friday morning, things looked about like this:


Basically, all you could see was white. Of course, that didn't stop some idiots from trying to get out. The snow pwned all who challenged it. Here are a few of the dozen or so cars & trucks that tried, and failed, to get out of the neighborhood.



Not wanting to become one of those plow-blocking asshats (with my little RWD hatch wearing new rubber, untested in the white stuff), I stayed inside and watched the hours pass with no plow in sight. As 13:00 came and went, I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be leaving town (to get to the Werner holiday party in Omaha) any time Friday. The plow finally came to my street around 22:30, but it was dark and I couldn't really see how much of a difference it made.

I woke up at 06:00 Saturday, eager to get on the road to KC (Big XII championship game!). I took a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast, and loaded my car. The sun had finally come up, so I opened my shades to get a view of the streets. Fsck! While the plow had successfully removed the top 8-10" of snow, there was still a solid 3-4" layer of compacted ice and snow on all the roads. The rest of the day (including our self-destruction at Arrowhead) passed by in a long, depressed, blur.

Three days after the storm, the streets remained in such horrible shape that my Monday commute took twice as long as normal. Even the main arteries, including 55 mph highways, didn't get to be pavement-only until Thursday! Some places got it even worse than Peoria (especially further north and west in IL), but it still hammered us and ruined my weekend. If only I could kill some more pirates to really get global warming moving along...

2) Blizzard in MO
The same storm hit parts of Missouri just as badly. See, for example the devastation at Lake of the Ozarks.

3) Blizzard of awesome not-in-RL
I just noticed today that the final episode of the first season of Pure Pwnage is out! w00t!

worst football day of the year

I was supposed to be at Arrowhead today, watching my Huskers take on the Oklahoma Sooners for the Big XII Championship and a trip to Arizona in January. Instead, I'm sitting on my couch in Peoria.

Why, you ask? This is why... also this, this, and this.

I spent 90 minutes yesterday morning clearing a path in my driveway (best workout I've had in months) in 20+ mph winds and continued snowfall, only to see my neighborhood streets remain unplowed for the next 12 hours.

I'm too frustrated to type anything more. Gah. There Is No Place Like Nebraska, but right now I wish I was in KCMO.

real life is scary

I've been acting like a geezer for the better part of a decade. In the last couple years, I've even been living in the 'real world', just like an old person. I got a full-time job, moved to a strange town, bought a car, etc.

One of the scariest things about getting older, although not directly affecting me, is people my age getting married. I consider marriage to be a much larger ball and chain (to borrow a nice cliche) than a job or mortgage. I don't know if that is because it's people instead of money, but nothing says 'all grown up' to me more than getting hitched.

Well, now I must confront real life [in the third person, at least] in an even more serious way. I have a friend who is getting divorced! It's so crazy, I don't even know what to say... I mean... Divorce!

Can I be a kid again, please?

Trick!

Can I skip being a dad and go straight to being a grandpa? You get all the fun of hanging with little kids, without any of the trouble of raising and caring for them!

I say this because I've been seeing a lot of little kids tonight, which reminds me of how cute they can be. My favorite so far tonight was when a group of five or six all did the "Trick or Treeaat!" thing when I opened the door, at which point I said "Trick!" and closed the door momentarily. Of course, I quickly opened the door again and gave them artery-clogging chunks of caramel and chocolate. It warmed my heart to hear them giggle about how I really did trick them as they walked to the next house.

Well, I better end this post before the next group of kids comes. Happy Halloween.

P.S. Oops, they're here already!

Die, Big 10 [11]!

Once again, I'm just outside the coverage area for a Nebraska game. If Minnesota doesn't upset Ohio State (the game I get to see instead of Huskers/Cowboys), I'm going to be even more angry.

I had to hack to hear my Huskers.

Today's Nebraska football game (against those purple pantywaists from K-State) is televised, but only via Fox Sports pay-per-view. My local cable operator hasn't picked up the option to broadcast the game, so I'm SOL as far as TV goes.

I'm used to this situation, though, having moved out of Big 8 country several years ago. Luckily, I've always been able to catch the games via streaming radio over the Internet. As the broadcast rights have changed hands over the years, the ease-of-listening factor has varied. During this last offseason, however, it suddenly got much worse. I now use only Free (-as-in-speech) operating systems, and it's a major PITA when content providers insist on using proprietary and/or patent-encumbered file formats and codecs.

Intelligent people provide their audio broadcasts as simple mp3 feeds that can be read and enjoyed by almost everyone (even though it's illegal for me to do so in the US!). Asshats like Huskers.com, however, use kludges that take an already-proprietary stream and then abstract it behind multiple layers of useless garbage. The following is an account of what I had to do just so I could listen to the Husker game today.

1. Click the 'listen' link at Huskers.com. This opened a pop-up (strike 1), which informed me that I needed a new browser plugin (strike 2) to view the content on that page. Why the f--k does an audio file want to play in a webpage? Wouldn't it be better in, say, an /audio player/? Anywho...

2. Since (a) I don't want to pollute my computer with that crap and (b) such plugins almost never work well on Linux OSes, I decided to take a peek at the page's source code to try to find a direct link to the broadcast.

3. Success! I found the URL (define) for the page's audio feed. I pasted that address into my browser and told it to open the file using a media player application (Totem, specifically).

4. Failure! Totem told me that it couldn't open the file. That struck me as odd, since I should be able to play dang-near any type of audio file with Totem. I tried reopening the link, but this time I was redirected to a text file...

5. The file's title was 'mediaPlayerAudioOnlyUrl.wvx'. They use a specific abstraction layer (unsophisticated as it may be) with no other purpose than to prevent fans from using anything other than Microsoft Windows Media Player (and, furthermore, any operating system other than MS Windows) to listen to Husker games (strike freaking three)!

6. Undeterred, I went looking for an audio feed URL within the file's code. Again, I found a string that seemed like it should get me to the radio broadcast. Again, I popped the address into my browser. This time, it automatically opened the file in Totem...

7. Success! Of course, I don't know if I can accurately call it a 'success' that I had go through all that hackery in order to hear a simple radio broadcast. I'm busy listening to us kick Wildcat butt, though, so I don't mind /too/ much for the moment. :)

GO BIG RED!

Terrorists vs. Washington D.C.

No, this post's title is not what it seems. Yes, it's about the War on Terror(TM). No, it's not about IEDs or OBL, but rather about the fight between terrorists and the Feds to determine who can violate more of my rights and generally be bigger douchebags.

I had the joy of dealing with the TSA last week, just like every other person unlucky enough to have to board a commercial airliner in the Unites States of America. I know about the 'elevated' threat level and what it means in terms of added scrutiny of carry-on baggage. I also know that the whole thing is bullshit; consequently, I refuse to go down without at least a token resistance.

As my own little personal act of civil disobedience[1], I decided to disregard the new baggage restrictions. In the case of this particular day-trip, that meant I'd be bringing a whopping total of one verboten item with me: toothpaste. I did my best to put it deep within the bowels of my backpack, hoping that I had enough things stacked on top of each other to make the individual silhouette of my toothpaste tube less obvious. Despite that effort, the X-ray machine at PIA saw something[2] that caused the operator to have my bagged pulled aside for inspection. The TSA agent went through my bag, quickly finding my Aquafresh Tool of Terrorism just about where you'd expect it (in my Dopp kit).

I was feeling somewhat dejected after my plot had been foiled. I was down, sure, but I wasn't out! On the return trip, I decided to make a second attempt at defeating our pointless, ineffective, mis-targeted[3] 'security' policy. For numero dos, I used the free toothpaste I got from the hotel as my contraband. This time, I made no attempt to hide it. Lo and behold, I passed right through security (at PIT, this time) while the guy before me was almost cavity searched[4].

I really don't know what to make of this experiment. With a sample size of two, the fact that I got 'caught' only once could be due to any number of factors: differences between airports, X-ray equipment, X-ray operator skill, X-ray operator 'enthusiasm' for following the rules, or even random luck. The only clear result of this little study is that I need to do a bigger study! Leave me a comment if you have ideas for other ways to test the system. One particularly crude idea I've had is to collect a bunch of empty containers (toothpaste, pop, gel deoderant, whatever) and fill my carry-on with them. The best would be opaque containers, since nobody could tell they were empty without individually inspecting each one. Anyway, I'm looking for suggestions, so leave me one.

_________________________
[1] I don't mean to equate my actions with [far, far] more significant acts of civil disobedience that have changed entire nations, but one doesn't have to be MLK Jr. or Gandhi in order to do something worthwhile.
[2] It could have been the toothpaste, or it could have been that my plan worked /too/ well, and they could decipher so little with the X-rays that they figured they had better inspect my bag by hand. That has happened to me several times in the past (pre-9/11, even), and it could easily have been the case this time, as well.
[3] I could go on forever, but I'll stop. I hope you appreciate how diffcult that is. :)
[4] This was one of the guys I was traveling with. I know he didn't have a single banned item in his bag, because it had all been confiscated on the first leg of the trip. The poor guy had actually forgetten about the no-fluids rule, and had to throw away quite a bit of stuff after getting his bag searched at the security checkpoint.

one-trick pony

I've been in denial about this for a couple of seasons now, but I'm finally able to admit it. The Big XII has become an also-ran in the world of major college football. We are now what we always accused the PAC-10 of being: one team that is nationally competitive, and a bunch of others that are dangerous only to themselves.

Let's take a look at this week's scoreboard, shall we?
1) Kansas lost to Toledo, but K State beat Marshall. Trading wins with the MAC is not the mark of a top-notch, BCS conference.
2) Iowa State lost to Iowa. Losing huge rivalry games is always a let-down.
3) Baylor lost to Wazzu, Oklahoma lost to Oregon, Nebraska lost to Southern Cal, and Colorado lost to Arizona State. That's 0-4 against the 'weak' PAC-10!
4) Our perennial fireworks show of an offense, Texas Tech, was held to a field goal by Texas Christian.
5) We picked up wins against Rice, Florida Atlantic, New Mexico, and Army; if we can't be proud of those victories, what is there to fight for? :rolls eyes:

While Nebraska certainly could have fared worse against a surprisingly [to me] still-top-notch USC team, I agree with Callahan's statement that this wasn't even a moral victory. We lost, plain and simple. We are certainly improving over last year's team, but we're also not ready for the national stage yet. I'll be thrilled if we win our conference, no matter how shitty it might be, because it still means winning the North /and/ beating the South's victor on the field. That is still something that we can be proud of and hold over the heads of all those silly PAC-10 and Big 10 fans. :)

I am sick-o.

No, I'm not /a/ sicko. Estoy sick-o; you know, Spanish for rejecting-food-from-all-manner-of-orifices-and-being-so-sore-it-even-hurts-to-move-my-eyeballs.

I called my boss at 06:40 to let him know of my condition and the guy answered his phone! It sorta threw me off-guard, since I was expecting his voicemail at that early hour. As part of the opening pleasantries of our conversation, he whipped-out the oft-used 'How are you?' I answered in the same vein that I normally do; 'Not too bad.' Not too bad?? The whole reason I'm calling is to specify just how bad I am!

Rather than using this example as evidence of my distinct lack of phone conversation smoothness, I want to use it as evidence of the inane, worthless things we do just because society has taught us to do them. Not only was it pointless, in this case, but it was actually counter-productive.

Well, I've run out of steam and it's time to rest some more. Adios, all you lucky not-sick people.

Welcome to the family, russiandell!

There is a new addition to my household. Her name is russiandell, which is pretty self-explanatory when you consider the she's both a gift from my little sis (thanks!!) and a Dell Inspiron 600m.

Poor russiandell, you see, went all gimpy a few months ago. My sister, not being the type of person to fix a computer and definitely being the type of person to want an excuse to buy a new laptop, went out and bought herself a new Apple MacBook Pro.

Me being a helpful brother and all, I diagnosed her problem as a failed hard drive and also discovered, after many hours of thorough research and analysis (or two minutes at http://support.dell.com), that the computer was still under warranty! A couple days later, I had a new hard drive. My awesome sis told me I could keep the computer; after a few weeks of laziness and Broadcom-hating, I installed Ubuntu 6.06 LTS (homepage, Wikipedia page) and haven't looked back.

I could turn this post into a huge gush-fest about Ubuntu and how it pwns windoze, but I'll restrain myself. Instead, I'll just hit 'publish' now and concentrate on enjoying the fact that I'm making this copylefted post on a copylefted browser and operating system, all while sitting on my porch on a beautiful summer evening. :click:

fscking lawyers!

Disclaimer: I understand that there are one or two lawyers out there who are not the spawn of Satan. I really do. That said...

Class-action lawsuits (CALs, from here onward) are among the biggest scams perpetrated on the American public. Recently, I've received letters about two CALs of which I am a member. The first was against Microsoft, regarding the flagrant abuse of their monopoly, and the second was against Sprint, regarding some dodgy billing practices which caused a bunch of people to pay too much in fees.

The payout for both CALs was pretty small, ~$20 or less. Even worse, they were in the form of discounts for products and services offered by the defendant! What kind of bullshit is that?

Let's say I punched 2,000 people in the face, and they turned around and hit me with a CAL. It seems that the 'punishment' I could expect would be an order that I must offer them an UNCLBEN(R)-brand mouthpiece at half-price (which is still enough that I will profit from the sale), but only if they will allow me to punch them again! If they want to go be friends with someone else, who /won't/ punch them in the face, that's too bad; they'll get no compensation for the punch I dealt them.

Of course, CALs continue to thrive because the lawyers get filthy rich. A million people/victims get $10 each in coupons to the offending company, but the five lawyers/piles-of-excrement each get $2,000,000 in cold, hard cash. Fscking lawyers.

T minus...

34 days, 1 hour, 15 minutes.

Gooo Biiig Reeed. GO BIG RED!

CD Baby rocks!

No pun intended, of course...

Payola has ruined radio for me. I don't like paying money for digital downloads, so sites like Magnatune aren't at the top of my list. Pandora and Last.fm both offer great services, but don't allow me to filter for RIAA affiliation. CD Baby has none of those drawbacks, and has become my one-stop shop for finding new music. IMHO, it has two meta-features which make it better than competing stores.

Meta-Feature #1: Ease of finding music you'll like.
Feature 1a) Search. There are four different search algorithms (including the two obvious ones, Artist and Album).
Feature 1b) Simple bins for browsing CD Baby's catalog. This isn't very different than most sites have, but it's still useful. Major categories include broad genres (e.g. Blues, Latin, Rock), top sellers (this week or ever), and sale items ($5 or less!). In addition, each genre is broken down into subcategories; there are about thirty of these for Rock, including 60's Rock, Extended Jams, and Rockabilly. Within each genre and sub-genre, CD Baby even lists some Editor's Picks and the top sellers.
Feature 1c) Flavors. The editors have selected albums which are particularly appropriate for a given occasion (e.g. 'To Drink Alone To', 'Long Drives / Road Trips') or mood (e.g. 'Sick of all normal music', 'Smash! Burn! Destroy! Rage!'). This may be the best part of the whole site.
Feature 1d) Song previews. Every album has a selection of its songs available for preview (the first two minutes of the track).
Feature 1e) 'Similar to' lists for each album. CD Baby provides links to other albums by the artist, similar albums by other artists, appropriate genres, and albums by bands from the same geographic location.

Meta-Feature #2: A business model that everyone can love.
2a) Respect for musicians. CD Baby will sell albums by any artist. You don't sell your soul to CD Baby to get distributed. Each artist sets the album price and determines which songs will be available for customers to preview. There is no lower volume limit to be listed at CD Baby; you can sell three CDs a year, and your page will get just as much love as one for a Jack Johnson CD.
2b) Respect for customers. CD Baby does not accept payment for prominent positioning on the website. Because of this, CD Baby will never be like mainstream radio or brick-and-mortar retailers, in which products are promoted (via airtime or shelf space) in proportion to the size of the payola, not in proportion to the quality of the product. The website is built to accommodate W3C standards, so that anybody with a standards-compliant browser can use the full functionality of the site; you are not locked-in to one, particular, proprietary software package (a la iTMS, Rhapsody, Pandora, and most others).
2c) An all-around awesome founder/owner. Derek started CD Baby in his bedroom. He makes it a point to listen to every CD sold through the store; it's too big to keep that up, but CD Baby employees keep up the practice. Derek still maintains the website. Heck, I wrote them an email the other day with a question about the 'help' section of the website. Within 24 hrs (on a Sunday, no less) I got a response from Derek himself. We shot a few emails back and forth throughout the day. That kind of genuine customer service is invaluable.

This is a huge post, but it's hard to express how happy I am with CD Baby. Now, if only more people read this blog so word could get around. :-P Oh, well...