traitor!

As you may or may not know, I'm quite susceptible to road rage. Like most people, I think that I have the perfect 'rules of the road' and that people should have their licenses revoked for not following them. One of the basic rules is Ye Shalt Waiteth In Line With The Rest Of Us. A common situation is when Car 2 (left lane) decides to pass Car 1 (right lane) at a relative speed of 0.1337 mph. Of course, this causes a huge line to form behind Car 2, since there are many cars that would like to travel faster than 65.1337 mph.

Inevitably, some jackass will ignore[1] that line of cars and zoom up behind Car 1 in the right lane. He'll then wait there, eyes to the left, waiting for a gap big enough to let him in[2]. I don't have a description to equal that of dircha's, so I'll simply repeat his words on the subject.

In traffic, leaving more than a single car length between you and the guy in front of you gets you cut off. It's an invitation for some asshat in the next lane over to cut in. You know the type.

I tell ya... roof-mounted laser gun turrets. "We've got a Jetta at 3 o'clock! Get in there and keep him occupied until I can engage the damned lightdrive!"

That and enemy sympathizers - traitors. You rode that bumper like an animal in heat and kept the Jetta out of your lane. But what's this? The Jetta pulls ahead and that weak-willed pansy Corolla two cars ahead lets him in, after all your work! "Dammit man, we're trying to hold a line here. Get on that fucking bumper and ride it for all you're worth you fucking pussy!"

Where did these people learn to drive? Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood?

_________________________
[1] Or fail to notice... But you know what they say about malice and ignorance.
[2] If he has a 15 foot long car, that means the gap must be at least 15.5 feet. Not only do these pricks cut in line, they completely ignore the concept of 'safe following distance' and thereby increase the risk of a nasty pileup if anything goes wrong.

no hat, no coat, no problem

Winter has finally arrived. There is snow on the ground, the wind chill is hovering around zero degrees Fahrenheit, and I have the pleasure of doing both my morning and afternoon commutes with my headlights on. Those joys, I get to share with everybody around me.

Nobody else, though, spends the first part of every winter enduring daily questions about where the hell his coat is. As soon as the mercury drops below freezing, everybody on earth becomes my mom.

Q: "Where is your coat?" (This is the simplest and most common.)
A: "In my car."

Q: "You're gonna get sick!" (This is often phrased in a manner eerily similar to the BB gun admonition in A Christmas Story.)
A: "Maybe."

Q: "Aren't you freezing?"
A: Varies, depending how cold it really is. Sometimes, it's perfectly nice outside (e.g. 40 degF and sunny) and I respond as such. Sometimes, though, I'm chilled to the bone and I admit it.

Occasionally, somebody wants more than a one-line response. I'll tell you what I tell them: It's just not worth the trouble of bundling up to walk 100 feet from a parking lot to the warmth of my destination! Plus, once you get to the warm place, you're then /too/ warm because you're dressed for something 50 degrees cooler. I think it makes a lot of sense. Don't you? :plugs ears: ;)

In other news... The song of the day is "The House Jack Built" by Metallica. Yes, it's from before they sucked. Download it!

pure snowage

1) Blizzard in IL
It started coming down as sleet/ice/nasty on Thursday evening. It was so loud (think of God throwing giant slushballs at the side of your house) that it kept waking me up until about 03:00, at which point it finally turned to snow and stayed that way.

When I woke up Friday morning, things looked about like this:


Basically, all you could see was white. Of course, that didn't stop some idiots from trying to get out. The snow pwned all who challenged it. Here are a few of the dozen or so cars & trucks that tried, and failed, to get out of the neighborhood.



Not wanting to become one of those plow-blocking asshats (with my little RWD hatch wearing new rubber, untested in the white stuff), I stayed inside and watched the hours pass with no plow in sight. As 13:00 came and went, I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be leaving town (to get to the Werner holiday party in Omaha) any time Friday. The plow finally came to my street around 22:30, but it was dark and I couldn't really see how much of a difference it made.

I woke up at 06:00 Saturday, eager to get on the road to KC (Big XII championship game!). I took a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast, and loaded my car. The sun had finally come up, so I opened my shades to get a view of the streets. Fsck! While the plow had successfully removed the top 8-10" of snow, there was still a solid 3-4" layer of compacted ice and snow on all the roads. The rest of the day (including our self-destruction at Arrowhead) passed by in a long, depressed, blur.

Three days after the storm, the streets remained in such horrible shape that my Monday commute took twice as long as normal. Even the main arteries, including 55 mph highways, didn't get to be pavement-only until Thursday! Some places got it even worse than Peoria (especially further north and west in IL), but it still hammered us and ruined my weekend. If only I could kill some more pirates to really get global warming moving along...

2) Blizzard in MO
The same storm hit parts of Missouri just as badly. See, for example the devastation at Lake of the Ozarks.

3) Blizzard of awesome not-in-RL
I just noticed today that the final episode of the first season of Pure Pwnage is out! w00t!

worst football day of the year

I was supposed to be at Arrowhead today, watching my Huskers take on the Oklahoma Sooners for the Big XII Championship and a trip to Arizona in January. Instead, I'm sitting on my couch in Peoria.

Why, you ask? This is why... also this, this, and this.

I spent 90 minutes yesterday morning clearing a path in my driveway (best workout I've had in months) in 20+ mph winds and continued snowfall, only to see my neighborhood streets remain unplowed for the next 12 hours.

I'm too frustrated to type anything more. Gah. There Is No Place Like Nebraska, but right now I wish I was in KCMO.