Terrorists vs. Washington D.C.
No, this post's title is not what it seems. Yes, it's about the War on Terror(TM). No, it's not about IEDs or OBL, but rather about the fight between terrorists and the Feds to determine who can violate more of my rights and generally be bigger douchebags.
I had the joy of dealing with the TSA last week, just like every other person unlucky enough to have to board a commercial airliner in the Unites States of America. I know about the 'elevated' threat level and what it means in terms of added scrutiny of carry-on baggage. I also know that the whole thing is bullshit; consequently, I refuse to go down without at least a token resistance.
As my own little personal act of civil disobedience[1], I decided to disregard the new baggage restrictions. In the case of this particular day-trip, that meant I'd be bringing a whopping total of one verboten item with me: toothpaste. I did my best to put it deep within the bowels of my backpack, hoping that I had enough things stacked on top of each other to make the individual silhouette of my toothpaste tube less obvious. Despite that effort, the X-ray machine at PIA saw something[2] that caused the operator to have my bagged pulled aside for inspection. The TSA agent went through my bag, quickly finding my Aquafresh Tool of Terrorism just about where you'd expect it (in my Dopp kit).
I was feeling somewhat dejected after my plot had been foiled. I was down, sure, but I wasn't out! On the return trip, I decided to make a second attempt at defeating our pointless, ineffective, mis-targeted[3] 'security' policy. For numero dos, I used the free toothpaste I got from the hotel as my contraband. This time, I made no attempt to hide it. Lo and behold, I passed right through security (at PIT, this time) while the guy before me was almost cavity searched[4].
I really don't know what to make of this experiment. With a sample size of two, the fact that I got 'caught' only once could be due to any number of factors: differences between airports, X-ray equipment, X-ray operator skill, X-ray operator 'enthusiasm' for following the rules, or even random luck. The only clear result of this little study is that I need to do a bigger study! Leave me a comment if you have ideas for other ways to test the system. One particularly crude idea I've had is to collect a bunch of empty containers (toothpaste, pop, gel deoderant, whatever) and fill my carry-on with them. The best would be opaque containers, since nobody could tell they were empty without individually inspecting each one. Anyway, I'm looking for suggestions, so leave me one.
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[1] I don't mean to equate my actions with [far, far] more significant acts of civil disobedience that have changed entire nations, but one doesn't have to be MLK Jr. or Gandhi in order to do something worthwhile.
[2] It could have been the toothpaste, or it could have been that my plan worked /too/ well, and they could decipher so little with the X-rays that they figured they had better inspect my bag by hand. That has happened to me several times in the past (pre-9/11, even), and it could easily have been the case this time, as well.
[3] I could go on forever, but I'll stop. I hope you appreciate how diffcult that is. :)
[4] This was one of the guys I was traveling with. I know he didn't have a single banned item in his bag, because it had all been confiscated on the first leg of the trip. The poor guy had actually forgetten about the no-fluids rule, and had to throw away quite a bit of stuff after getting his bag searched at the security checkpoint.
3 comments:
TSA Permitted and Prohibited Items Website
Know the rules before you fly. I flew 09/09 and 09/11 (prior to new 09/26 rules). On one of my flights a girl was using contact solution. When asked about it by another passenger she replied with "the website said I could have it as long as the container wasn't more than 4 oz. It may be that the same rule applied for people like you with "sensitive teeth". FYI: The TSA never tried to stop ladies from wearing gel/liquid filled bras, even going as far as to letting breast cancer organizations know that gel prosthetics were allowed, but additional ones should be checked not carried on.
Tell me why you can't carry on a box cutter, but you can take the following:
“Cigar Cutters” (isn’t that pretty much the same blade as a box cutter?)
“Scissors - metal with pointed tips and blades shorter than four inches in length.”
“Scissors - plastic or metal with blunt tips. “ (Couldn’t you sharpen them to be razor-like?)
Since 9/11/02 I've carried my mini-leatherman (with knife) on two plane flights leaving OMA and SFO. I've also carried a lighter with fuel twice leaving OMA and MDW. Both items were packed in my computer bag that contained LOTS of electronics and cables (laptop, gps, camera, ipod, battery chargers...).
My buddy has used an ID that I made for him to board countless domestic and international flights. Including one incident where he handed the guy his homemade ID and boarding pass and pointed to a sign that read, "Only Government Issued IDs Are Accepted" saying "is that true?” The guard replied, "Yep, has to be government issued" and handed him his ID back.
I’m not a big fan of the “random” searches. I get “randomly” searched more than the average Joe. In fact, in OMA I was once “randomly” selected for search twice for one flight (at screening checkpoint and boarding gate). If you do get searched DO NOT try to touch the bag they are searching. Ben there done that. Also remember TSA agents have NO sense of humor; none, nada, zippo, zero!
After you get your boarding pass check it for ‘SSSSS’. That is the tag used at the ticket counter to sign you up for a random search at the security checkpoint.
Makes You Wonder How Safe We Really Aren’t.
Tom
Ridiculous, huh?
While perusing the list of allowed items (thx for the link), I noticed a couple of funny things: 'Toy Transformer Robots' and 'Toy Weapons (if not realistic replicas)'. When I was a little kid, maybe 7 years old, I tried to make it through security carrying a Transformer-type toy that morphed from a camera (with a flash that lit up) to a gun (where the light flashed when you pulled the trigger). It was very plasticky, and mostly primary colors; /very/ clearly a toy. Well, the buttplugs in security wouldn't let me through with it. They had to run it down to my parents' checked bag. Oh yeah, /that/ made my flight more secure!
How about a post sharing your views of the former Super Bowl Champs?
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