2006-06-02

A moment of silence, please.

Today marks a sad milestone in my adult life. I broke my first dish. It was a small plate, white with a blue stripe around the outside of the rim. His death was not in vain, though; he sacrificed himself to keep my baked potato from landing on the ground[1]. The viewing is being held in a cardboard box next to my kitchen trashcan. The funeral service will occur whenever I get around to taking out the trash[2].

Not to disrepect the recently-deceased, but do you know what my first thought was upon his death? 'Aw, crap. Now I have seven small plates and eight of everything else. Maybe I should accidentally drop one of all the other stuff.'

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[1] Not that I wouldn't have eaten the potato anyway, but it makes me feel better to think that Mr. Plate died in a sacrificial act of bravery.
[2] That could be anywhere between 3 and 30 days from now, depending on how lazy I am and whether I throw away any meat or other stuff that will make my apartment smell like armpits smothered in doody.

3 comments:

The silly girl said...

Please don't wait 30 days. The plate needs a proper burial in the dump. Also I believe I will be visiting scene of the awful death in less than 30 days and I am not a fan of the smell of armpits smothered in doody.

Anonymous said...

Glue the pieces together and use the plate, or donate it to goodwill. Then the plate can be born again and enjoy it's second life.

OR

you could go shopping for a replacement. Original Vendor, Pier One, Goodwill, eBay, Antique Shops... Surely it wasn't a 1 of a kind!
Tom

Ben said...

Re fixing it:
The breaks weren't clean, so gluing it back together would result in a pretty nasty plate.

Re replacing it:
a) I'm too lazy to find the same set/style.
b) I'm too OCD to replace the busted plate with a non-identical item.
c) Either way, I'm too cheap to buy another plate.
Still... thanks for the suggestions. :)