Episode III: Revenge of the Slice

The last time I played golf was about three years ago. I headed to the driving range the other day hoping to rekindle the skills I had a decade ago, and in the process pick up a "new" hobby/pastime.

It appears that my brain has begun associating golf with gardening during these last few years. Half my swings removed chunks of dirt and grass that a Caterpillar excavator would be proud of. The other half resulted in a machine gun barrage of Caddyshack-gopher-killing worm burners.

Near the end, I finally whipped out the heavy lumber. (That's my driver, not my wedding tackle, you perv.) I had a few very respectable shots and a few that had a slight fade (read: monster slice). All in all, it was definitely the most enjoyable part of the afternoon.

It appears I'm not going to be any good any time soon. I'm actually pretty amazed that I was ever good. I now have trouble just getting the ball to approximate the look of a real golf shot. I haven't even tried to control aim or distance yet. Looks like I'd better start practicing another aspect of golf: yelling "Fore!"

Confessions 2: Back to Sanity

After the last post, I'm sure a few of you are thinking that it's time to stage an intervention. I understand your concern, and I'm here now to alleviate your fears. I can promise that I will never lose touch with reality and sink into the black hole of computer nerd-dom. I know this, because I will never be able to ignore my one, true, materialistic love: cars. You see, cars have two attributes that no computer does (and that no one human does).

First, they can be irresistably sexy. See Exhibit A: the Aston Martin V8 Vantage. Just look at those curves...those headlights...



Second, they can have enormous, beer-guzzling, burrito-belching, earth-shaking cojones. I present Exhibit B: the Dodge Viper. It is arguably the most brutally purposeful car made today. It's all about function with this monster, but the form ain't too bad either.



Just remember everybody: I'm not obsessed. I'm focused.
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note: You are depriving yourself if you don't look at the full-size versions of those Aston pics. All it takes is one little click!

confessions of a [huge] nerd

I admit it, I'm a nerd. This virtue (yes, I said "virtue") often manifests itself as a(n) (un)healthy interest in computers. I build my own boxen, I use words like "boxen", I'm a member of two online computer hardware forums, and I have a handful of computer industry websites that I read every day.

Below are pictures of the two latest things to catch my fancy: the Antec P180 and AMD Athlon 64 X2. The P180's understated exterior is a thing of simple beauty, and its interior is unmatched (not counting Zalman's insane TNN, or Totally No Noise, cases) in terms of acoustic and thermal performance. The A64 X2 is equally impressive; it is undoubtedly both the most powerful and efficient desktop CPU in existence. As always, click the pictures for larger versions.

P180: A64 X2:

Right now, I know most of you are saying to yourselves, "Gee, I just don't think mankind is capable of creating anything else as stupendously beautiful as that computer case! Teh P180 r0x0rz!!!11!" Stay tuned, and you'll see just how wrong you are. Remember: same Ben time, same Ben channel.

Lake Trip 2005

About a month ago, I made my annual trip to Lake of the Ozarks. I didn't know then that it would be the end of an era, but that's a topic for another time.

The weekend consisted of very little besides going to the store to buy beer, sitting at the pool drinking beer, boating to a restaurant to drink beer, sitting inside drinking beer, and sitting on the porch to smoke cigars and drink beer. Here are a few pics I collected along the way...click on them for larger versions...

To start, a couple nice pics taken from the boat on the way to and from lunch. I especially like the second one, which is now my desktop wallpaper.

These next two shots were taken within a few seconds of each other. The first was with yours truly attempting valiantly to steady the camera himself, the second was with the camera placed on a railing.




Sean, realizing that he lacks the manhood to drink normal-size beers, opted to purchase Coronitas. Here he is comparing his 7 oz. bottle to...ummm...his other shortcomings.



Drew got all excited about something, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

Arachnophobia

Remember the wine cellar with the huge, pulsating ballsac of eggs? Well my utility closet looks about like that right now. So that's why there aren't any ants in the apartment...

This might be a slight understatement, but I'm not a fan of spiders. At all. The feeling of walking through a web makes my skin crawl, even when I can't feel an actual spider. Seeing those little spider nutsacks dangling all over my closet kinda freaked me out. But I sucked it up and dealt with it like a man: I closed the door and ignored it. :)

To add insult to injury, the reason I went into the utility closet in the first place is because my gol' durn air conditioner hasn't worked since I turned it on last week for the first time this year. It's freakin' 90-plus degrees outside, it's gonna be another few days before they can install a new compressor, and God knows I'm already the hottest person on the face of the planet. Oh, well. I suppose I'll live through it*.

*Until the spiders ambush me in my heat-weakened state, wrap me up like a gringo burrito, and suck me dry.

The Ballad of Curtis Loew

(1) It seems like one of the "typical" blog things is to post song lyrics.
(2) I'm one of those people who can really be moved by music.
Given that (1)-(2) punch, I thought I'd go ahead and post the words to a great song about great songs: Lynyrd Skynyrd's The Ballad of Curtis Loew. Give it a listen if you ever have the chance.
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Well I used to wake the morning before the rooster crowed
Searching for soda bottles to get myself some dough
Brought 'em down to the corner, down to the country store
Cash 'em in and give my money to a man named Curtis Loew

Old Curt was a black man with white curly hair
When he had a fifth of wine he did not have a care
He used to own an old dobro, used to play it across his knee
I'd give old Curt my money, he'd play all day for me

Play me a song Curtis Loew, Curtis Loew
I got your drinking money, tune up your dobro
People said he was useless, them people are the fools
'Cause Curtis Loew was the finest picker to ever play the blues

He looked to be sixty, and maybe I was ten
Mama used to whip me but I'd go see him again
I'd clap my hands, stomp my feets, try to stay in time
He'd play me a song or two
Then take another drink of wine.

On the day old Curtis died, nobody came to pray
Ol' preacher said some words, and they chunked him in the clay
But he lived a lifetime playin' the black man's blues
And on the day he lost his life, that's all he had to lose

Play me a song Curtis Loew, Hey Curtis Loew
I wish that you was here so everyone would know
People said he was useless, them people all are fools
'Cause Curtis you're the finest picker to ever play the blues
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