I've always felt that Sears is a Man Store. Sears is where you go to buy such masculine devices as lawnmowers, grills, power tools, and car batteries. For that very reason, I recently went to Sears to buy a socket wrench set (click for larger version).
The Sears I chose is attached to a mall, so it has two floors. I walked into the store from the parking lot, which was at the upper level. To my surprise, I was immediately surrounded by tiny, pastel shirts. Little girls' clothes? My shock only grew as I scoped out the rest of the floor: clothes as far as the eye could see, with some jewelry sprinkled in for good measure. Surely, I thought, the real Sears is downstairs.
Wrong. After a quick trip down the escalator my senses were assaulted by more blasphemy, this time in the form of bedding and other Woman Crap. It was only after a solid minute or two of walking around and peeking around corners that I found the Man Store I had come for.
It's true that I was able to escape unscathed (with my new Man Toys, no less), but at what cost? What's next? Ballroom dancing in the Olympics? Justin Timberlake performing at the Super Bowl? ...Aww, f[bleeep]...