Cruel and Unusual Punishment (Hollywood style)

I was perusing Rotten Tomatoes recently in order to read reviews of the new TMNT movie. While I was there, I happened to notice that they are maintaining a list of the 100 worst-reviewed movies in their database. Being kinda bored on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I decided to have a look. I won't admit to how many of those movies I have seen (and even enjoyed!), but one stood out above the rest.

...
It was my senior year of high school. I was on a double-date of sorts, and we were headed to the theater. As you might expect, the males and females had widely differing preferences for which movie we'd be seeing. Often, guys will capitulate in these sort of situations to increase the [optimistically perceived] odds of future 'reimbursement'. The girls' suggestion in this case was so heinous, however, that my buddy and I tried everything we could think of to change their minds. There was no repayment that could justify the pain that we believed we were about to suffer through.

My friend was the lucky one; he lapsed in and out of consciousness for the duration of the film, battered senseless by the relentless barrage of suck. I, on the other hand, was transfixed by the nightmare unfolding in front of me; I was unable to look away for 92 minutes when I wanted nothing more than to spoon out my own eyeballs and pierce my eardrums with rusty barbed-wire.
...

The movie, dear readers, was Down to You, Rotten Tomatoes' 25th worst-reviewed movie. It is rated worse than all but one of Uwe Boll's movies, for Christ's sake, worse than Glitter, worse than fscking Gigli!

There are two takeaways from this post.
1. Do not ever [EVER] see Down to You.
2. Liah still owes me. Big.

Mac vs PC? Who cares?!

I'll admit that I have enjoyed Apple's recent Get a Mac ad campaign. A lot of it is half-truths and innuendo, but many of the spots do make excellent points.

As a user of Linux- and BSD-based operating systems, however, I couldn't care less about whether Windows Vista or Mac OS X provides a better experience. Both are closed software products that willfully ignore reality; the cost of distribution is as close to zero as is reasonably possible, and it's only going to get cheaper. Free Software is only going to get stronger, and it's going to be a brighter future for everyone*.

Anywho... This morning I happened across some 'Get a Mac' spoofs created by Novell. They're certainly not as professionally-made as those in the Apple campaign, but in terms of content I'd say they're about on-par with The Real McCoy: vague and condescending, but true nonetheless.

The first ad simply points out that there is actually an [attractive!] alternative to Mac or PC. The second ad is less straightforward, but it hints at key strengths of Linux: rapid-as-you-want-them updates and a community built on sharing, openness, and continuous improvement. The third ad, my least favorite, hits on a couple more points; one, that you can run Linux on computers originally sold with either Windows or Mac OS and two, that all those features the Mac and PC are discussing are things that Linux can do.

Ad #1 (Linux is real, and it's spectacular): YouTube, MPG download, or OGG download
Ad #2 (Linux does what /you/ want it to): YouTube, MPG download, or OGG download
Ad #3 (Linux see, Linux do [better]): YouTube, MPG download, or OGG download

_________________________
* With the exception of the stockholders of those software corporations which have made their billions by disrespecting their customers and squeezing them for every penny they have. For a handy list of these wonderful companies, just check out the Business Software Alliance's member list.

Hippies [don't?] suck.

For most of my life, I've agreed with Eric Cartman on the subject of tree-huggers. In many situations, I think their stereotypical portrayal is accurate enough. Occasionally, though, they're really on to something. To save myself any more typing, I'll just quote the email I sent to my employer today. [snip]

I have recently begun learning about the process known as mountaintop removal mining (aka MTM or MTR). As a $COMPANY_NAME employee, it disturbs me to know that our machinery is being used in such a destructive manner. While our primary responsibility is to run our own business in a manner reflecting external costs to our communities and shared environment, our Sustainability Report (specifically the first section, Making Progess Possible) correctly acknowledges that it is also our duty to push for responsible use of the tools we create.

Is the Sustainable Development group aware of this issue? Is it involved in any lobbying at the state or federal level related to surface mining in general? In the event that MTR has not received much/any visibility, I have provided links to some resources that may be helpful.

Wikipedia
Union of Concerned Scientists
Mountain Justice Summer
Washington Post
US Environmental Protection Agency
West Virginia Gazette
iLoveMountains.org

robots > people

I can't wait until people aren't allowed anywhere near our products during manufacturing and assembly. Everybody will be better off.

Exhibit 1) People are lazy. This is an undeniable truth. We take shortcuts, we loaf, we do the bare minimum. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Laziness can be managed. The problem is that we rarely educate people enough that they know where the 'bare minimum' bar is really set. Aim low, miss low.

Exhibit 2) People are independent. Nobody likes to be told what to do. Everybody who's ever been a kid should know this...

You think to yourself: Wow, my room is filthy.
Your mom walks in and says: Your room is filthy! Clean it, or no dessert.
You respond: You're not the boss of me! My room is just fine!!!1one

A similar problem exists in many manufacturing environments...

Office ppl: Please do such-and-such.
Shop ppl: Why?
Office ppl: We don't have time to explain, just do it. We know best.

Most times, the 'office ppl' really do know best. By refusing to acknowledge and consider the opinions and knowledge of 'shop ppl', however, they lose a tremendous amount of buy-in. Some companies, like Toyota, are legendary for breaking down these barriers. If only such a culture was more common...

Exhibit 3) People just. don't. care. If you finish building your Lego castle and you have 3 pieces left over, you throw them back in the box and pretend they are 'extras'. Riiight. Twenty minutes later, the main castle wall comes crashing down and buries your valiant defenders. Invaders 1, product quality 0.

Robots do not have any of these complications. Given a sufficiently clever software engineer and programmer, the robot will do exactly what you want. Which gets us to the crux of the matter... We go on and on about quality and customer satisfaction and market share and prestige and blah-de-blah-blah-blah, but all engineers really want is control. Trying to control people is nothing more than a sophisticated game of whack-a-mole. Those f$@king moles.

Wedding Banned

If Wedding Banned comes to your town, see them. Don't make excuses, don't forget, just go. They're a mock wedding band , but that's just a gimmick.

They mostly cover superhits, so you know all the words (or at least enough to pretend you do), and they add attitude to every one of them. They remind of Tenacious D in that way; they can sing about ridiculous things but make it rock harder than any 'normal' band could while singing about a lost girlfriend or drugs or whatever.

Unfortunately, they don't travel too far, so you all have to come to IL to see them. Trust me, it's worth the trip. See you soon! :)